Happy Thanksgiving!

Michael J. Fox had it all and was struck with his illness, his cross to bear, and chose through his ability and resources, to become an advocate for Parkinson’s disease. While most choose to get lost in the unfairness of it all, the loss of an acting career, he as Christopher Reeves chose more productive alternatives.

Listening to them ask for contributions for their specific concern, one would want to exhaustingly say, “Enough already.” But we suddenly realize why these men became afflicted with such a challenge – this is their calling; they had an acting career, but God wanted more of them, and He knew He would get more from the qualities of these two men.

In the late 80’s, the heydays, I left a restaurant carrying my doggie bag because my eyes were bigger than my stomach. A young homeless man asked me for help, so I gave him my food, expecting him to throw it down and be angered that I didn’t give him cash. Instead I got, “Oh man is that food, thank you, thank you.” We were taught they ALL wanted money for alcohol and drugs.

In the early 90’s, a seedy looking woman on 31st street and Lexington, two children in tow, was pleading for money. I passed her by in a hurry, then I thought, it’s Friday night and I’m off to meet friends at a bar; I’ll be drinking while this woman, with tears in her eyes, is crying for help. So I multiplied the number of drinks I thought I was going to have by $5, and felt I should give her something. I handed her $20, hey it was the roaring nineties for some, and rushed off to my destination. My background music was this woman yelling, “God bless, you sir, God bless you, God bless you!” that everyone on Lexington Avenue heard it to the point I was blushing, something I was not prepared to do on a Friday night.

I was taught that once I handed her the money, she would waste no time and make a beeline to her crack dealer, her children just being a ploy. Two hours later she was still there hoping for more money for her children.

Recently I became blessed to witness this cross of life and the contradiction that exists. I applied to day labor, which means you come with a passport and wait in a colorless, makeshift room and sit on folding chairs if lucky, to wait with 100 other “indigent” people in the hopes of being chosen to clean dishes, carry all sorts of junk, or sweep streets. As I sat in this room, I saw all men from the night before who slept in the streets, a hallway, or a shelter if they were lucky, and if they didn’t fear getting beaten, robbed or raped.

Now I was told that they “want to be homeless, and don’t want to work.” Did this information not filter down to these men, men who wanted to make enough money that day so they can sleep peacefully in a SRO motel?

I also have become privy to the welfare system, that government money tree handout, which provides $144 a month in food stamps to a single person, an allotment of $230 towards rent a month, and you get to clean the public highways for about $136 a month. All “benefits” toll, it’s less than minimum wage – way less.

I was told that people easily take advantage of the welfare system to buy jewelry and fancy clothes, yet I saw no signs of this, no one “vogue-ing” through the hallways waiting on endless lines of bureaucratic red tape; no one snickering in the belief they are going to get over on a system that has a maze of paperwork requirements in an effort to trip an applicant up and disqualify them like some perverse “gong show.” The belief of abuse is so indoctrinated that even the welfare personnel asks for your cell phone number, which is an oxymoron considering the requirements to accept benefits.

I am reminded of an episode of MASH where the jeep Hawkeye told Margaret Houlihan “never let it be said I didn’t do the least I can do.” The government will provide “the least that they can do,” certainly not anything life sustaining. Something to think about while obeying our regimen of showering and shaving, dressing for work, eating the appropriate meals, remembering vitamins just to maintain the minimum standard to viable as a human.

We all have our cross to bear at times we all get a cross to bear, and sometimes this cross becomes a calling. It is said that God gives us a cross we can handle, and no more. Ronald Reagan professed in the belief of “tithing,” giving of one-tenth of one’s earnings, a suggestion from the Bible. The fact that we find it impossible to “tithe,” despite having two spouses both working should tell us something about how our economy is these days, and has changed from a few decades ago. It was in the eighties when “laissez faire” and “supply side” were unleashed that created the “decade of greed,” and multiplied the homeless populations tenfold. One can form their own conclusion, but we simply have to listen to the words of our Saint-elect, Holy Father’s words: “Unbridled capitalism with no moral compass is destined for ruination.”

As for everything I was told over the years, I have learned that in most nearly every case people aren’t homeless because they want to be, and not all resort to alcohol and drugs. We hypnotize ourselves with this belief to justify not “doing anything.” As thinking, feeling human beings, we know better. The guilt, like a party crasher, comes with no RSVP required.

I am not naïve to think people don’t use drugs or alcohol, or have become so hopeless, or long term unemployed they no longer see the light at the end of the tunnel. They have forgotten how to work, forgotten what it was like to have structure in their lives, if they ever had it at all. Some have used drugs or alcohol to get to this mess; others have gotten into this mess and resorted to drugs and alcohol for some comfort, a last ditch pain management regimen once hope, a pre-requisite for existence, is lost.

Others are mentally ill, many have suffered from broken homes with no parental guidance or financial support, and others have been sexually or physically abused. Many had their fortunes stolen or conned, construction jobs were closed, and businesses failed, many stretched beyond any unemployment benefits. Some became too old for the work force, had no training, and others became physically ill with no health insurance.

Of the most inane statements that we utter in an effort to diffuse any action on our part is the senseless belief that one needs to “pull themselves up by the bootstraps.” We must encourage people to not quit or lose hope, but if the Mayor of New Orleans can throw in the towel and bail because he lacks resources, what chances do people with no family history, intellectual ability or economic means have? To date I have never heard of a drowning man simultaneously save himself, never heard of someone screaming, “Help, help…oh, never mind.” Bootstraps are pulled up with “a little help from a friend.”

Our job is not to wonder how people got where they did, there are many as I stated, but our goal is compassion. It is at this time of year that we don’t become angered about how hard everything is, or what we don’t have, but take stock and be grateful for what we do have – the other side of that half empty glass. It is at this time that we thank God for our families, our safety nets, and our physical and mental gifts, and utter the phrase, “There but for the Grace of God go I.” Our focus is not ego and pride, but love and understanding, or at least acceptance; when we see a building on fire, we don’t start a debate on how it happened, we run to put out the fire.

The picture isn’t pretty; it’s not supposed to be, just like a natural disaster is devastating, not a major inconvenience. Hate the unfairness or injustice; don’t hate the victims, or the sight of homelessness. It looks the way it does, because it is what it is, and there is no way to make it antiseptic.

God made it easy for us; leave the judgment to Him, our job is compassion and help. While we struggle up Maslow’s pyramid, going from our basic needs to those back rubbing, ego-injecting urges, remember others are so far down on the pyramid they are being buried by it. If we are worried about “where the money goes, or how it is being used,” remember our responsibility ends at the “giving” stage, and a brief reread of the Serenity prayer would help here. Add to this the suggestion that we shouldn’t be so conveniently cynical; this will only lead to unsubstantiated self-justification; and guilt, no matter how we try to deny delivery.

It’s that old totem-pole theory – not to forget others as we climb our way up, keeping in mind that old philosophy of “what goes up, must come down.” Like watching football or baseball games in my 46th year on this earth, I’ve had it with the gifts – the sweaters, shirts, ties, cologne, CD’s – while others need food and clothing, the basics of life.

There is a belief that we should “give till it hurts,” only knowing then how much of a threshold until the giving reaches a substantive point, a real effort. But no such sacrifice is called for here, just a simple act of compassion and charity. While I do not take refuge in the notion that we should feel better about ourselves by witnessing the misery of others, a false value, it does give us some insight in knowing how much we actually do have in our lives; we can put down those daily grievances about not getting that promotion, not getting that girl, not being able to afford that car, live in that house or be physically appealing as we would like, and start to get a little perspective as to what we do have, and start counting those blessings. We would surely come away with the knowledge that we have so much, while others have so little, not even the minimal human requirements, and that should be unacceptable for any rationale, human being.

We will sense a greater fulfillment from knowing our brothers and sisters have a little hope in their lives; people who need people. It will open up a wall of emotions, and I’m sure we will start to sense the frustration Mr. Schindler felt towards the end of that movie, that another watch or ring or chain, or CD or IPOD or DVD could have helped feed and comfort dozens.

The Bowery mission is a good place to start; your local church, synagogue, mosque or community center soup kitchen is another. Holy Cross on 42nd street has the Crossroads Pantry, and there is the Metropolitan Community Church on 36th Street that hands out food 5 days a week, but sometimes just chocolate bars and cheese crackers, and that’s a disgrace in the greatest country on the face of the earth.

Unconditional giving; one will be surprised “what’s in it for them.” And “Happy Thanksgiving!”

Notre Dame: A Pampered Classism

Once again we will observe a college benefiting from name recognition having beaten teams with a combined won lost record (excluding their loss to ND) of 22 and 41, a .350 winning percentage, yet preordained to a bowl game. Would this be true if they were the Indiana Fighting Cardinals?
Of course pride is consumed in their title, having allegiance from American Catholics and those of Irish decent, however their behavior, pelting fellow student players with snowballs was one of a ghetto mentality, certainly not befitting of what is believed to be one of the finest learning institutions in the nation. Is this how members of a “higher value” college act when things don’t go their way, or turn out wrong?

It is time we ended the façade of placing this university, its students and alumnae on a pedestal and let them experience the real world on its merits, starting with a more balanced schedule, and ending with them rewarded bowl games based on their achievements, not their personae.

This year ND benefited by a Michigan team that fumbled seven times, and a San Diego State team that fumbled at the goal line and has been outscored by their opposition 446 to 231.
No other school enjoys a TV Contract to broadcast all its games. In addition to ND’s “bowl game in waiting” status, is this fair, or even honest to every other college that competes on a level playing field?

We have given a ten year contract to a coach who has assembled a few good talent, while the rest remain at division two level at best (can you imagine?). I am sure he will certainly feel the wrath of alumnae that feels there is only one outcome for them, unlike the rest of America.

It must be a bitter pill to swallow, to face challenges like the rest of us without having the luxury of a “fixed” outcome.

David DiBello

Who's to Blame for Big Three Failure?

Forgive me, but I didn't hear of a rash of hi jackings or kidnappings in the 90's or early 2000's forcing Americans to buy Hummers and gas guzzling SUV's. Thanks to auto leases, even our second car was new, which put us more into debt.

Like with our stock, we bougth with reckless abandon while bowing at the alter of gluttony, giving no consideration to frugality. Where does balme for our current economic condition lie?

Of course the Big Three Auto Manufacturers played on the vulnerabilities and lust of their market, and via collusion with Big Oil, kept producing cars that had mileage rates that dated back to our Oil crisis of the Seventies.

As buyers, we didn't learn a thing. So while we are pointing fingers at GM it is important to remember the words of former Mayor Jimmy Walker who refered to his administration's corruption during his resignation speech: "I'm not the only fool here; you voted for me!"

To quote another famous pundit: "The fault lies not in our stars, but in ourselves."